It’s Me, Not You
Get ready for a link-filled post today, friends!
I know I said I was getting sick of all the self-introspection, but low and behold, guess who found yet another opportunity for improvement?
It's me.
Does anyone else have the song "Defying Gravity" from Wicked playing in their head now? I do.
Okay, Erica, focus.
I was chatting with my friend yesterday, and we talked about our "boys" (aka adult men) and how much time they spend playing video games.
Being a parent doesn't stop when your child turns 18, and while my intentions are good, I know I can border on helicopter/controlling/over-worrying/mountain-of-mole-hilling if I'm not careful, even when they are all grown up.
And hey, just to make my kids (they'll always be kids to me) feel better, I don't just do this with them; I spend a lot of my time thinking about what a whole bunch of other people are doing and how they could be doing things differently.
I'm a giver of care; what can I say?
As I plopped myself at my desk to write this morning, contemplating these things, I swear I heard God's sweet and angelic voice whispering, "Worry about yourself. Leave the rest to me."
Worry about yourself.
This reminded me of this super cute reel I love with a girl who thwarted her Daddy's offer of help: https://youtu.be/4A6Bu96ALOw?si=YrYCep-eePBweOHG.
God's whispering wisdom also reminded me of one of my favorite quotes by Deepak Chopra: "Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself."
Eeeek.
Okay, fine, rather than wondering how much time my beloved ones spend on their technology devices and how I can provide data and research on the negative consequences of this, I decided to turn my accusatory, I mean helpful, finger back at me.
If other's excessive use of technology concerns me, I should probably look within and see what's happening in my life, digitally speaking.
So, I started doing some research.
I came across Dr. Mayim Bialik's podcast with Dr. Alok Kanojia, which discusses tech addiction.
There was some compelling (aka scary as heck) information about how the use of technology affects our self-perception and mental health.
This one quote by Dr. Kanojia stood out to me:
"If you are spending 4-6 hours a day on a technological device, you are shutting off the parts of your brain that give you a sense of purpose."
Well, surely I'm not doing that.
Let me look at my phone and run some reports to prove myself right.
Dang.
My average is literally between 4-6 hours of usage on my phone daily.
Ugh.
Me? Addicted?
Yep.
In fact, I gotta confess that while I've been writing this, I have picked up my phone and scrolled more times than I care to admit.
As the wise Taylor Swift says, "It's me, I, I'm the problem, it's me."
So, now that I have reached this awareness and am just scratching the surface of understanding the impact this addiction is having on my brain and mental health, what am I going to do about it?
Gulp.
Great question.
I am deciding, at this very moment, that I am going on a media fast during the upcoming Lent season.
I'm terrified.
What will I miss?
How will I know what’s happening with the people I love or barely know?
Will anyone even know I'm alive?
Will everyone have fun and forget to include me?
Will I become irrelevant and unknown?
How will I survive?
How will I be able to do this on my own?
God knows me so well and He heard my cry for help.
I saw this post on Jonathan Roumie's Instagram page (ironic, I realize), and he shared a book called Media Fasting - Six Weeks to Recharge in Christ.
Thanks for sending the support once again, God!
I immediately signed up for the challenge and downloaded the book.
I will start this journey on Wednesday, March 5th.
Double gulp.
I can't even imagine what will happen, but if it's like other stuff that I have stopped doing that wasn't good for me, I'm gonna guess it will (eventually) be awesome.
I want to be open and let God show me another opportunity to free myself of something that isn’t working for me anymore.
If you feel like this is something you want to do as well, you can join the challenge here.
But if not, that’s cool.
It’s me I’m working on, not you (reminding myself of this).
I'll still be writing, so don't worry, you aren't getting rid of me that easily!
Well, it's gonna be a beauty of a day, so I suppose we should take a break, get up from our desks or put our phones down, get out and enjoy it!
Matthew 7: 3-5
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, "Let me take the speck out of your eye," when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
Romans 12:2
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.