Returning to My Human-ness

Well, I said I was gonna do it, so now I guess I gotta honor my commitment.

Today is the first day of Lent and Day 1 of my Media Fast.

Gulp.

What the heck was I thinking?

How am I going to survive not connecting with all my peeps? What if there is a birthday or an event I miss?  

What opinions will I not be influenced by?

What "news" will I miss?

Holy FOMO BATMAN!

In the minutes it took to write the above sentences, I reached for my phone about 10 times.

I think I'm going to start having withdrawal tremors.

As I read the Week One email and watched the video from the Media Fasting program I'm working through, one of the quotes stood out to me:

"Media fasting is not just about removing an app from our phone so we don't feel tempted to spend hours on it. Fasting also helps us convert from inauthentic ways of acting to live in a more human way."

Sister Nancy Usselmann, FSP

I needed that inspiration to remind me that this fast, or any fast many of us do during the Lent season, isn't just about decluttering our minds or avoiding temptations; it's about reconnecting with our Christ-centered human-ness.

As I went about my morning, I tried hard to stick to my human-ness and push away my scrolling urges.

I had a couple of meetings and then had lunch with my daughter and after a yummy meal, we decided to visit a downtown church having a noon Ash Wednesday service since we couldn't attend our church tonight.

Man, it was good.

Isaiah 58: 1-12 was read aloud, reminding us of the hypocrisy of those who fast in public but focus on selfish interests, the oppression of others, and quarrelsome judgments behind the scenes.

The pastor then highlighted how this still applies today, especially in social media.

Jeez, God, message received.

Sometimes, God sends us messages to confirm that we are right where we need to be.

After the sermon, we read together Psalm 103: 8-14:

"The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.

He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him.

As far as the East is from the West, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.

For he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust."

Then we got our ashes imposed (yeah, I had to look that up, too), and we cuddled back together in the pew as we read Psalm 51 aloud, receiving God's kindness and loving forgiveness.

God's compassion and kindness, despite my brokenness, never ceases to amaze me.

Psalm 51:11 says, "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me."

Man, who doesn’t need a renewed, right spirit?

So, it's only the afternoon of Day 1, and I, once again, have reached for my phone more times than I care to mention.

Despite the withdrawals and shakiness, I am hopeful and excited about what God has in store for the coming weeks as we continue to follow forward together!

Joel 2: 12-13

"Even now," says the Lord, "Turn and come to Me with all your heart [in genuine repentance], with fasting and weeping and mourning [until every barrier is removed and the broken fellowship is restored]. Rip your heart to pieces [in sorrow and contrition] and not your garments."

Now return [in repentance] to the Lord your God, For He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in lovingkindness [faithful to His covenant with His people]; and He relents [His sentence of] evil [when His people genuinely repent].