NBAK
Oh, how I long to just let things bounce off me.
I'm not just talking about not taking things personally; I'm talking about having that calm and curious vibe other people seem to have when things go bonkers.
You know, the ones who sit and observe, quietly taking it all in and allowing all that is happening to, well, happen.
No overreaction, no taking responsibility, just noticing.
It's like they are calm observers of a game, just slightly intrigued by how it will all turn out.
So annoying, right?
Me?
Well, I'm the one grabbing my clipboard like one of those out-of-control coaches jumping, screaming, over-reacting, and taking things on that are not mine to take while I run around with my hair on fire, trying to fix everything and everyone while my anxious heart beats out of my chest.
I sometimes joke that I have an automated three-part trauma response:
Something is happening.
Something is happening - it must be my fault/responsibility.
Something is happening, and it must be my fault/responsibility. I should fix it.
I'm over a half-century old and still working on this stuff.
Annoying.
Thank goodness God loves my work-in-progress adorableness.
On this path of Free, we are learning what it means to live unshackled and liberated.
So, rather than picking up my clipboard and embarking on yet another adrenaline-rushing, overreactive, responsibility-robbing rampage, I'm implementing some new tactics.
A wise woman (thank God for her) gave me these tools, and I made an acronym to remember them.
Gotta keep it simple for this girl.
NBAK
Notice
Breathe
Again
Kindness
Notice something happening. Be curious. Don't act or say anything. Get quiet and notice what is happening in my mind and body. Hmmm, why is this upsetting me so much? I sure am triggered. Is this my problem or my responsibility to fix it? I wonder...
Breathe. Deeply. In through your nose and out through your mouth. Stress causes you to unknowingly start taking short little breaths, which causes carbon dioxide to go to the brain, making things worse. Deep breathing, especially the deep exhale, helps calm the brain. This is my simplistic way of understanding the brain stuff; experts or the internet can explain it better than I can.
Again. Breathe slowly and deeply again and again until you feel quieter and calmer.
Kind. Be kind to yourself. Talk to yourself like you would your children or your dearest friend. Use extra empathy and the sweetest voice you can muster. Picture God talking to you with loving-kindness. Or maybe your Grandma. Whatever it takes to develop the habit of treating yourself with all the kindness you can muster.
Repeat NBAK as often as necessary.
How many hours of my life could have been saved if I had these tools early on?
Who's ready to have a calm, cool, and collected day filled with peace and joy as we notice, breathe, and treat ourselves with kindness?
ME! ME! I AM!
Let's GOOOOOOOOOO!
Philippians 4: 6-7
Do not be anxious or worried about anything, but in everything [every circumstance and situation] by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your [specific] requests known to God. 7And the peace of God [that peace which reassures the heart, that peace] which transcends all understanding, [that peace which] stands guard over your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus [is yours].
Isaiah 41:10
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.