It Is Interesting

The phrase "It is what it is" really grinds my gears.

I had an old boss who used to say this all the time when I would present concerns or frustrations. I can still hear his condescending and dismissive tone. Ewe.

In addition to the phrase triggering my past terrible boss memories, I also dislike “it is what it is” because it goes against my natural fixer-upper superpower and "slight" control issues.

To me, "it is what it is" sounds like someone is just giving up and accepting defeat.

Give up? Me? NEVER!

If I see a situation or person that does not meet my expectations, I roll up my sleeves and get to work. Never fear; help is on the way!

I also have spectacular storytelling skills. I anticipate what might happen in the future with things outside of my control, set high expectations, and then get disappointed or frustrated when things don't turn out as I planned.

How dare people and things not bend to my will? So annoying.

Needless to say, I spend a "bit" too much time trying to manage and manipulate outside things.

But the truth is, of course, I have zero control over what happens around me.

I can't fix other people, I can't prevent problems from occurring, and I can't always make things turn out as I want them to.

As I said, so annoying.

Why do I do this? After some reflection, I think it's my way of trying to feel safe.

I didn't want those around me to feel or cause pain.

I didn't want to be hurt or disappointed.

But expending all that energy to fix or adjust things I have no control over is pointless.

Time for a perspective shift.

A wise woman recently offered me a simple but profound thought when faced with fear, annoyance, or the pull to control or fix.

"Isn't it interesting?"

When faced with people or situations that annoy, trigger, or scare me, I can pause and ask myself, "Isn't it interesting?"

I can then spend time pondering why I am so annoyed, triggered, or scared and bring all of these things to God, and He can help guide me to pause, reflect, and learn what might be underneath my superhero control cape.

After doing this exercise a couple of times, I have learned that the primary reason I get worked up and go into fixer, controller mode is that I am scared. I am afraid that the people I love will get hurt or others will hurt me.

Ahh, it's an internal protective glitch. That makes sense. Understandable.

With God's calm, loving guidance, I can pause and remember that no matter what is happening around me, I am safe, and everything will be okay, even if it's not perfect or it takes "a bit" longer than I would like.

God is nothing if not patient. He must continually remind me that I am safe and that those I love must learn and grow from struggles and purpose just like I am when disappointments or frustrations happen.

They are going to be okay, and so am I.

The world around me is not under my control, and even when things don't go as I predicted or planned, I will be okay.

Trusting God is in control, I will persevere and be all the wiser for my patience and acceptance of what is.

Last I checked, I was not promoted to Angel on High - in charge of all people and things.

The offer email could be in my spam folder, though; I'll have to check.

What can I say, I’m a work in progress.

Isn't it interesting...

Romans 15:4

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.

Isaiah 43: 1-4

But now, this is what the Lord says—he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

Ecclesiastes 5: 18-50

This is what I have observed to be good: that it is appropriate for a person to eat, to drink and to find satisfaction in their toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given them—for this is their lot. 

Moreover, when God gives someone wealth and possessions, and the ability to enjoy them, to accept their lot and be happy in their toil—this is a gift of God. They seldom reflect on the days of their life, because God keeps them occupied with gladness of heart.