Oh What A Relief It Is

Is it just me?

I can receive God's forgiveness, which is a beautiful gift indeed - but forgiving myself? Well, now, that is much more tricky.

"You are forgiven," Jesus said. You heard Him, right?

Yeah, so did I. 

But then what do I do? I pick it back up. I dig around on the ground, looking for that splinter, even though I know Jesus literally JUST removed it, I watched it dissolve into thin air.

Instead of skipping along and moving on, I choose to stop and sit in the dirt, retelling the story to myself once again as I scavenge around, looking for that disgusting, never-to-be-seen-again splinter.

The voices of unworthiness start to get louder, and the flogging and self-shaming commence as I recall every little detail of my mistake. 

Then, something dawns on me as I sit in the muck, my nice nails ruined from digging in the dirt.

"Why the heck am I holding onto this unforgiveness when God Himself forgave me?".

Hmmmm. Great question.

I suppose it's a habit or pattern I developed along the way. Whatever the origin, I got used to clenching unforgiveness and being excruciatingly hard on myself. 

A friend recently shared with me that she does the exact same thing.  

What a relief it is when you find out you are not the only one who does these things!

As she shared her story with me, she asked with tear-filled eyes, "How will I ever move on from this mistake?"

A solution quickly came to my mind. Of course, it did, right? Because, for some reason, it's much easier to help others than to help ourselves. 

I suggested that she talk to herself like she would her very best friend. 

Maybe it would go something like this:

"Oh honey, I understand how awful that must feel. You feel embarrassed and ashamed for what happened. I understand. But you made it right. You said you were sorry; you made amends, and they forgave you. You learned such a great lesson. I am so proud of you.

Every time you find yourself retelling the story, hug yourself (literally) and remember that you are forgiven! Recall the moment when Jesus removed that splinter for good. He loves you so much. You are worthy of love and forgiveness.

Tell those voices to SHUT UP and shout as loud as you can, ‘I AM FORGIVEN.’ Because you are!”

That feels much nicer, doesn’t it?

If, like me, this pattern feels all too familiar, let's begin a new practice starting today. Let's rewire our brains to develop habits of loving forgiveness. 

We can choose to not just receive God’s forgiveness, but also forgive ourselves. We can get up from the dirt and muck, dust ourselves off and continue on our journey.

Are you ready to go? I sure am!

John 8:36

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

Ephesians 1:7

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace

Acts 13:38 

"Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you.