Ransom
As I sit and write about God's unconditional love and forgiveness and His unwavering willingness to find us and pull us up from the muckity muck, I feel a twinge of hypocrisy building within me.
I guess that means it's confession time again.
I have a handful of people in my life who are, umm, let's say, testing my patience.
Like really testing me.
I think about these people A LOT and have given them way too much space in my already overcrowded head as I clench them tightly in my hands, unable to focus on much else.
Not too long after my little toesies hit the ground, I begin arguing or wrestling with them in my mind, replaying all the ways they have annoyed or wronged me.
I replay their wrongdoings over and over, and when I'm feeling wildly creative, I imagine new and nasty things they may do in the future.
These people are prisoners in my mind, and I feel justified holding them captive until they either leave or bend to my will.
Way to love 'em like Jesus, right?
So, as I awoke this morning, ready to inflict the daily lashings upon my prisoners, God pointed something out to me.
Ugh.
God is searching for them, just like He was for me.
He is looking all over, calling them by name.
I imagine His furrowed brow and wandering eyes as He searches high and low for them.
God is willing to pay the highest ransom for the freedom of those He loves.
And guess who's holding these loved ones hostage and hiding them from His loving rescue?
Yup, that would be me.
Ouch.
I picture God gently prying open my sweaty, clenched fists, which had all these people squished in their little cells.
I can see them running to God's open arms.
I am so happy for them.
It's tough to hate someone when you watch God rescuing, loving and healing them.
I can see the darkness fade and the light grow within each of those sassy little sweeties.
I can feel their relief, when they realize they are loved and forgiven, having been found and returned to God, who never gave up on them.
I know how all that feels.
I know how it feels to be rescued after wandering far away.
I know how it feels to believe and receive God's unconditional love despite all the flaws and funks.
I know how it feels to have God pay a ransom and allow Jesus to save me and pay for my sins so that I can be forgiven.
I am ashamed to think I could stand in the way of these things happening for someone God loves.
No matter what they have done or continue to do.
So today, my hands are open, and I will strive to end the wars waging within against those God loves.
I also put in an application to join God's search and rescue team. I really hope I get the job.
God has found you and them, and He is never, ever going to let any of you go.
1 Timothy 2: 5-6
For there is one God and one mediator between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all people. This has now been witnessed to at the proper time.
Mark 10:45
For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.
Hebrew 9:15
Through the Spirit, Christ offered himself as an unblemished sacrifice, freeing us from all those dead-end efforts to make ourselves respectable, so that we can live all out for God.