Not Just Needed
Do we have any recovering (or trying to anyway) people-pleasers in the room?
Raise your hands high, I'm talking to you today. You are my people!
We people-pleasers love to be needed, am I right? (heads nod in agreement).
Our can-do attitude has us overgiving and overaccommodating in the hopes that if we do all that is needed and more, we will be loved and wanted by those we serve.
This type of service isn't the good kind, where we love like Jesus; it's the subservient kind, where we give ourselves away.
The difference between wanting and needing is subtle.
I'm talking about our innate desire not just to be needed to be of service but to be wanted for nothing other than just being us.
The needing part is easy, especially for people-pleasers.
We are like superheroes when someone is in need.
What's that? Is that someone in distress who needs rescue? Hurry, let's grab our capes, drop everything, and take care of this right away!
They need our help. They need us to do this or that, to make them feel better, to fix it, to get it done.
While we run around with Flash-like speed, they sit back and watch the magic happen.
Being needed is very transactional.
We enter into it with the best intentions of helping, but deep down, we hope that if we give them what they need, we will be loved and wanted.
And oh man, heaven forbid we come across a narcissist. They get their power by accessing our need to be needed until we give all of ourselves away.
Things are not balanced, and our can-do flurry of activities leaves us feeling proud of what we've done but depleted and filled with resentment.
And most of the time, we do not feel any more wanted or loved than when we started.
But to be wanted - now that is altogether different.
Being in a relationship with someone who wants us feels calm, peaceful, and fulfilling.
We long to hear these words:
I want you. I want to be with you. I want to laugh, cry, or just be with you. I want to know you, to hear you, and to see you as you are.
I may need some help occasionally, but I will never ask you for more than you can give. I will help you when you need it too.
I want to love you just as you are, with no strings attached.
A relationship of want vs. need is more of a win-win transaction where both people give and receive and love without condition.
Do you know who is phenomenal at this kind of relationship?
You guessed it!
GOD!
God wants you.
He doesn't need you to do anything before He will love you. You don't have to save the world, memorize the Bible, volunteer until you are exhausted, or clean yourself up until all sins are removed.
God wants and loves you just as you are; all He asks is one thing.
Just one.
All you have to do is receive His love and love Him right back.
You don't need to do anything more for God to want and love you.
So all you people-pleasers can put your hands down now (thank goodness, as typing with one hand was starting to get really difficult).
I want to acknowledge your precious spirit.
Helping those in need is a precious gift God gave you. It is one of God's favorite things about you. You have such empathy and care for others, and you shine the light of Jesus into this world.
AND I want you to hear me now my darling and precious friend.
There are times those gifts are needed can be used to absolutely change the world.
But you are not just needed my friend. You are wanted.
You are wonderful and beautiful, just as you are.
You are not just needed, you are wanted.
Nothing more than being YOU is needed to be loved.
Receive that truth today and rest in God's unconditional love and embrace.
Take off that worn-out cape, and let Him be the superhero.
Just watch the magic happen.
Galatians 1:10
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
1 Thessalonians 2:4
On the contrary, we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts.
Ephesians 2: 8-9
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.