Pay Attention to the Flags

Have you ever had a feeling about someone or something?

Call it a gut sense, discernment, wisdom, or instinct. It's that little voice inside that is sending up warnings to proceed with caution.

I'm not saying it's judgment or bias; it's more of a whisper inside telling us to be careful. Our "spidey sense" is warning us.  

Sometimes, the whispers of warnings become screams of "Fall Back!" as red flags whip us in the face, trying to stop us from moving forward before we give ourselves away. 

I would love to say that I am wise and always listen to God's discernment. 

I want to tell you that I heed those warnings and move slowly and cautiously through life with fortified boundaries that are impenetrable to those who may seek to harm me.

I would love to give you sage and condescending advice on how to only allow trustworthy people in and only say yes to perfect and right things. 

But I'd be lying if I said all that. 

The truth is that I assume the best in people and am quick to be vulnerable and trusting.  

In my optimistic naivety, I quiet those warning whispers and close my eyes as I walk through red-flag-filled streets whipping me in the face. I can almost hear people yelling at me from the sides of the street as I skip along in blissful oblivion. "GO BACK - DON'T DO IT!  

I should listen to God's warnings. I should trust my gut. I should turn back. 

I should, but I don't. 

I go right through, skipping along with windblown, red-flag-whipped hair flowing in the breeze as three rainbows fill the sky and a unicorn flies by. 

Denial is one of my superpowers. Don't be jealous.

Then, when someone I trust hurts me, or I say yes when I know I shouldn't have, or I am vulnerable with someone who isn't safe, the voices inside my head sing out in a beautiful shame-filled melody: 

"See, WE TOLD YOU SO."

Let's be honest: if we had heeded God's warning and turned back, we wouldn’t have even gotten into this mess.

Shame then turns to blame as we point fingers at them. How could they hurt us this way? Why did they lie to us?  

We take out our book of grudges and write the story of their wrongdoing, removing ourselves from any responsibility in the matter. That feels better. 

Shame and blame aren't going to help us here, my friend. 

Take a moment to think about the situation that is popping up in your mind. 

Recall those initial instincts you may have ignored. Ask yourself why you may have overlooked those warnings. 

Perhaps you were lonely and really needed a friend. Maybe you thought it would be a dream job despite glaring evidence it was not. Perhaps you just really love it when everyone loves you. Maybe you thought that if you said yes, then they would accept and love you.

When you think of the other person, perhaps they had some similar reasoning why they did what they did.

Spend time with God and ask Him to help you understand.

Understanding why you chose to move forward despite those warnings can help you in the future and bring you to a place of forgiveness. 

Forgiveness for you and them may be easier when you understand the motivation.

Let's keep going, but perhaps at a slower pace.

I'm watching out for flags, don't worry. 

Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

Romans 12:2

 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

John 7:24 

Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.

Proverbs 18:15

The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge, for the ears of the wise seek it out.