Relearning
I know I'm in a safe place to share this truth with you.
Oops, I did it again.
I knew better, and yet, I didn't do better.
Don't you hate it when that happens?
I have a few (well, maybe more than a few) weak spots, and I swear one of the devil's favorite pastimes is to poke me right where it hurts, sit back, and enjoy the show as he watches me overreact and unravel.
That guy is such a stupid red-lycra-jumpsuit-wearing jerk face.
Why do I let him get to me?
Why can't I control myself and not overreact, overcontrol, or take on responsibility that is not mine to hold?
Why didn't I apply all the skills I've learned to prevent my negative trigger responses?
I could have stepped away, prayed, phoned a friend, drank water, exercised, prayed again, breathed deeply, helped someone else, walked in nature, meditated and envisioned my happy and safe place, journaled, ate a package of Fig Newtons, or tried whatever other things I've found worked for me in the past.
But noooooo.
It was like the devil cast his line and baited me, and before I knew it, SNAP, I was hanging there with a hook hanging out of my cheek, with the devil happily reeling me in to watch me squirm.
He really is a stupid jerk face, red-lycra-wader-wearing jerk face (note the outfit change).
Looking back, I felt the anxiety building throughout the day. My gut alerted me that danger was afoot.
Even though I sensed trouble approaching, I didn't stop, turn the other way, or ask God to help me.
I just mindlessly swam right toward the devil-induced danger.
You'd think I'd catch on to his schemes after all these years and all the lessons learned.
But noooooo.
So, this morning, once again, God comes and pries me off the hook, heals my wounds, and brings me back to Him.
God's rescue brings no judgment, condemnation, or lecture - just love and the opportunity to begin again.
God's love never wavers as He continually reminds us of the lessons we need to relearn.
Each lesson learned is a chance to repurpose what the devil meant to harm us into something good.
I am on alert, and my eyes and ears are focused on God.
I will not let my guard down today - no siree.
You ain't getting me or my peeps devil, not today.
Not today.
Now, where did I put those Fig Newtons?
1 Corinthians 10:11-13
These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the culmination of the ages has come. So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
1 Peter 5: 6-8
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
James 1: 13-15
When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.